What is the Spoon Theory and How Can It Help Me?
Hey there! Have you ever heard of Spoon Theory? If so, you’re probably wondering what it means when someone says, “I don’t have enough spoons” or “Today is a low spoon day.” Well, you’ve come to the right place, because we’re here to explain it for you!
Spoon Theory is an idea created by Christine Miserandino, who has lupus and created the concept to explain to a friend what it’s like to live with a chronic illness, and why she couldn’t always do everything she wanted to do.
I explained that the difference in being sick and being healthy is having to make choices or to consciously think about things when the rest of the world doesn’t have to. The healthy have the luxury of a life without choices, a gift most people take for granted.
Most people start the day with unlimited amount of possibilities, and energy to do whatever they desire, especially young people. For the most part, they do not need to worry about the effects of their actions. So for my explanation, I used spoons to convey this point. I wanted something for her to actually hold, for me to then take away, since most people who get sick feel a “loss” of a life they once knew. If I was in control of taking away the spoons, then she would know what it feels like to have someone or something else, in this case Lupus, being in control.
The Spoon Theory is a metaphor used to explain the limited amount of energy or resources that someone living with chronic illness or disability has at their disposal. Your energy or resources are “spoons,” with each spoon representing a specific amount of energy or effort required to complete a task.
The more spoons you have, the more things you can accomplish during a day. However, you have a finite number of spoons, and when you run out, you’re done for the day.
I asked her to count her spoons. She asked why, and I explained that when you are healthy you expect to have a never-ending supply of “spoons.” But when you have to now plan your day, you need to know exactly how many “spoons” you are starting with. It doesn’t guarantee that you might not lose some along the way, but at least it helps to know where you are starting.
She counted out 12 spoons. She laughed and said she wanted more. I said no, and I knew right away that this little game would work, when she looked disappointed, and we hadn’t even started yet. I’ve wanted more “spoons” for years and haven’t found a way yet to get more, why should she? I also told her to always be conscious of how many she had, and not to drop them because she can never forget she has Lupus.
Keep in mind that every single activity requires spoons, whether that’s getting out of bed, taking a shower, brushing your teeth, eating breakfast, or even getting dressed. What may seem like easy, no-effort-required tasks for able-bodied people actually can take a lot of spoons for those of us living with chronic illnesses and disabilities! So, we have to carefully pick and choose what we want to do during the day without running out of spoons too soon.
I asked her to list off the tasks of her day, including the most simple. As she rattled off daily chores, or just fun things to do, I explained how each one would cost her a spoon. When she jumped right into getting ready for work as her first task of the morning, I cut her off and took away a spoon. I practically jumped down her throat. I said ” No! You don’t just get up. You have to crack open your eyes, and then realize you are late. You didn’t sleep well the night before. You have to crawl out of bed, and then you have to make your self something to eat before you can do anything else, because if you don’t, you can’t take your medicine, and if you don’t take your medicine you might as well give up all your spoons for today and tomorrow, too.”
I quickly took away a spoon and she realized she hasn’t even gotten dressed yet. Showering cost her a spoon, just for washing her hair and shaving her legs. Reaching high and low that early in the morning could actually cost more than one spoon, but I figured I would give her a break; I didn’t want to scare her right away.
Getting dressed was worth another spoon. I stopped her and broke down every task to show her how every little detail needs to be thought about. You cannot simply just throw clothes on when you are sick. I explained that I have to see what clothes I can physically put on, if my hands hurt that day, buttons are out of the question. If I have bruises that day, I need to wear long sleeves, and if I have a fever I need a sweater to stay warm and so on. If my hair is falling out, I need to spend more time to look presentable, and then you need to factor in another 5 minutes for feeling badly that it took you 2 hours to do all this.
I think she was starting to understand when she theoretically didn’t even get to work, and she was left with 6 spoons. I then explained to her that she needed to choose the rest of her day wisely, since when your “spoons” are gone, they are gone. Sometimes you can borrow against tomorrow’s “spoons,” but just think how hard tomorrow will be with less “spoons.” I also needed to explain that a person who is sick always lives with the looming thought that tomorrow may be the day that a cold comes, or an infection, or any number of things that could be very dangerous. So you do not want to run low on “spoons,” because you never know when you truly will need them. I didn’t want to depress her, but I needed to be realistic, and unfortunately being prepared for the worst is part of a real day for me.
We went through the rest of the day, and she slowly learned that skipping lunch would cost her a spoon, as well as standing on a train, or even typing at her computer too long. She was forced to make choices and think about things differently. Hypothetically, she had to choose not to run errands, so that she could eat dinner that night.
When we got to the end of her pretend day, she said she was hungry. I summarized that she had to eat dinner but she only had one spoon left. If she cooked, she wouldn’t have enough energy to clean the pots. If she went out for dinner, she might be too tired to drive home safely. Then I also explained, that I didn’t even bother to add into this game, that she was so nauseous, that cooking was probably out of the question anyway. So she decided to make soup, it was easy. I then said it is only 7pm, you have the rest of the night but maybe end up with one spoon, so you can do something fun, or clean your apartment, or do chores, but you can’t do it all.
While Spoon Theory was originally developed to explain the challenges faced by those living with chronic illness, it can also be applied to organizing your home. Many people feel overwhelmed by the task of organizing their living spaces, and Spoon Theory can help to break down the process into manageable pieces.
Just like someone living with chronic illness has a limited number of spoons, each of us has a limited amount of time and energy to devote to organizing our homes. By breaking down the process into smaller tasks, we can use our spoons more effectively and avoid becoming overwhelmed.
Here are some tips for applying Spoon Theory to organizing your home:
Start small. Trying to tackle your entire home all at once can be overwhelming, and you may find that you run out of spoons before you even make a dent. Instead, focus on one small area at a time, such as a single drawer or shelf.
Prioritize tasks. Make a list of the areas that are causing you the most stress or that you use the most frequently. Prioritizing these areas can help you make the most of your spoons and avoid wasting energy on areas that aren't as important.
Use tools to save spoons. There are many tools available that can help you save time and energy when organizing your home. For example, using drawer dividers can make it easier to find what you need and can save you from having to dig through a jumbled mess.
Take breaks. Just like someone living with chronic illness needs to take breaks to conserve spoons, it's important to take breaks when organizing your home. If you start to feel overwhelmed or exhausted, take a break and come back to the task later.
Celebrate small victories. Organizing your home can be a long and difficult process, but it's important to celebrate the small victories along the way. Each small step you take is a step in the right direction, and each one brings you closer to your goal.
In conclusion, Spoon Theory can be a valuable tool for anyone looking to organize their home. By breaking down the process into smaller tasks and conserving your spoons, you can make the most of your time and energy and create a more organized and peaceful living space.
